A 12 pack of pop & a 1/2 gallon of milk:
6 Large Books:
And a 3-month old baby:
(who recently found his thumb, btw! Happy 3 months Drew!!)
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thirteen Pounds
Well, it's the end of month 1 and I am thirteen pounds fewer!! Thirteen lbs doesn't really sound like much until you compare it to some things that actually weigh thirteen lbs... like a bowling ball or a butterball turkey. So what else weighs 13 lbs?!
A 12 pack of pop & a 1/2 gallon of milk:
6 Large Books:
And a 3-month old baby:
A 12 pack of pop & a 1/2 gallon of milk:
6 Large Books:
And a 3-month old baby:
Under Destruction
My church is in the final stages of a major remodeling project where we are building a new auditorium. The pastoral team has created a 4-week series focusing on structural and foundational changes of the church- honoring the past and growing forward. It’s brought me to a point of contemplation of some personal changes as God has begun rebuilding the foundation within my own life.
For any foundation- destruction must occur before construction can begin. This is a difficult process because we’re extremely attached to the carefully woven architecture of our lives. Our unique thoughts, and attitudes, and desires, and coping styles… all developed out of a pattern of response to our lives. Each served a purpose as we learned to navigate the world around us as we were growing up. The problem arises when the responses that served us so well as children are no longer effective as adults. But we do it anyway. It’s normal, natural and familiar- which creates the illusion of safety. For the past two years… I’ve been “under destruction”. Going through the vulnerable process of exposing truth, unveiling secrecy, redefining perceptions, and relearning responses.
I'm reminded again of God's message through Zachariah that He will refine us like silver and test us like Gold (13:9). He continually presents us with the opportunity to be molded into his image should we trust Him enough to endure the process. Often painful- but look at the promise!! There have been times when I’ve wondered if it was worth it. But my goal from the beginning was to get out of the Lord’s way. Laying down fears, insecurities, agenda’s and selfish desires. Laying down goals that meet superficial “needs” and getting rid of the things that get in the way of His will for my life. And so much of it comes down to relationships. If I’m constantly hiding from myself- and from others- then I can’t reach people to the fullest extent. And… I can’t be reached by them.
It’s been an interesting couple of years. But I’m starting to notice the changes that have been occurring when I didn’t even notice. Confidence is replacing doubt. There is more peace where there used to be anxiety. Fear is subsiding and in it’s place is a newfound joy and excitement that comes from a more genuine trust in Him. Because what can this world take from me, ever, that won’t one day be restored? So here’s to honoring the past… and growing forward. Let the construction begin!
Refiner’s Fire
♫♪ Purify my heart
Cleanse me from within
And make me holy
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from my sin
Deep within. ♪♪
For any foundation- destruction must occur before construction can begin. This is a difficult process because we’re extremely attached to the carefully woven architecture of our lives. Our unique thoughts, and attitudes, and desires, and coping styles… all developed out of a pattern of response to our lives. Each served a purpose as we learned to navigate the world around us as we were growing up. The problem arises when the responses that served us so well as children are no longer effective as adults. But we do it anyway. It’s normal, natural and familiar- which creates the illusion of safety. For the past two years… I’ve been “under destruction”. Going through the vulnerable process of exposing truth, unveiling secrecy, redefining perceptions, and relearning responses.
I'm reminded again of God's message through Zachariah that He will refine us like silver and test us like Gold (13:9). He continually presents us with the opportunity to be molded into his image should we trust Him enough to endure the process. Often painful- but look at the promise!! There have been times when I’ve wondered if it was worth it. But my goal from the beginning was to get out of the Lord’s way. Laying down fears, insecurities, agenda’s and selfish desires. Laying down goals that meet superficial “needs” and getting rid of the things that get in the way of His will for my life. And so much of it comes down to relationships. If I’m constantly hiding from myself- and from others- then I can’t reach people to the fullest extent. And… I can’t be reached by them.
It’s been an interesting couple of years. But I’m starting to notice the changes that have been occurring when I didn’t even notice. Confidence is replacing doubt. There is more peace where there used to be anxiety. Fear is subsiding and in it’s place is a newfound joy and excitement that comes from a more genuine trust in Him. Because what can this world take from me, ever, that won’t one day be restored? So here’s to honoring the past… and growing forward. Let the construction begin!
Refiner’s Fire
♫♪ Purify my heart
Cleanse me from within
And make me holy
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from my sin
Deep within. ♪♪
Thursday, January 28, 2010
What's in a name, really?
What is easily thebest conversation of 2010:Me: So have you ever flown out of San Francisco?
My Mom: Actually I have- ummm... oh, no wait- that wasn't me- that was Julia Roberts.
(Hey- go easy on her, I see a definite resemblance. Besides, I often confuse myself with Demi Moore... oh wait, sorry- that was 3 posts back- and I was supposed to let that go!)
Saturday, January 23, 2010
KokomoAwakening#8
As the teams are gathering for KA#9, I'm taken back to this time last year and what an awesome weekend it was. Good luck to all my "Lillie's" who will be on team. You will all make awesome servants!! De Colores!
Prayers for Haiti. Prayers for America.
I was watching the news today and was amazed at the outpore of love and generosity and outreach towards Haitian people who are suffering from the devestation of one of the largest earthquakes in history. And then they showed something that was as awesome as it was sad... the number of Indiana Families who have submitted their names to accept orphan-refugees into their homes for adoption. So many that the state has stopped accepting names. We have more families available than we have children in need. That's unheard of. But it makes me wonder why, if there are such an overflow, we have so many children right here in Indiana waiting for loving homes.
Children such as those shown here: http://www.in.gov/dcs/2730.htm The very concept of the website saddens me. It's almost as if we're "showcasing" children, painting them in the best light possible without being downright dishonest. It all feels more like a car dealership than a child welfare system. Perhaps it's because of my job (after all, I've worked very closely with three of the kids on that list) but I have to sit back and reflect on the meaning and success of child welfare in this country.
Welfare [ Wel"fare, n.] Definition: Well-doing or well-being in any respect; the enjoyment of health and the common blessings of life; exemption from any evil or calamity; prosperity; happiness.
I'll bet these kids might come up with a different meaning. I worked with one such kiddo as he told his adoptive parents goodbye for the last time because they decided they didn't want him anymore. He was 12, and he'd been with them since he was 2. I still cringe thinking about the weeks that followed. So many mornings were spent holding this screaming/hitting/angry kid tightly to you until he just disintegrated into this weeping child who, all of the sudden, was the one holding on. "Who's gonna want me now?"
Folks are so afraid to take these kids in for fear of the risks. And there are risks. These are not bad kids. And they don't all come from bad families. They ARE however badly broken. That brokenness shows itself in a whole multitude of ways. But I sure hope someone educates people on the same type of risks and truama's the Hatian kids endure- otherwise my fear is that they will simply be added to that website above at some point. Ironically, one of the biggest mistakes I see is that people think they can just "love them enough". Which, in a sense, is true- but not in the way we usually think. Then when these kids can't or don't respond the way we think they should (after, of course, we've loved them enough), we're ready to give them back. We don't realize that it's the child who gets to decide what is "enough". Enough to trust. Enough to love back. Enough to let their guard down.
And here's the clincher- the thing that truly breaks my heart: if I have this reaction to watching the available families on the news, what in the world must these kids be feeling?
I'm not pointing fingers, I know there are no good answers- but my prayer is that somehow, despite all of the evidence to the contrary, our Lord works his miracles and shows these children their true worth in His eyes so that they can reciprocate on His love and find an everlasting home far greater than anything they will ever know on this earth.
Children such as those shown here: http://www.in.gov/dcs/2730.htm The very concept of the website saddens me. It's almost as if we're "showcasing" children, painting them in the best light possible without being downright dishonest. It all feels more like a car dealership than a child welfare system. Perhaps it's because of my job (after all, I've worked very closely with three of the kids on that list) but I have to sit back and reflect on the meaning and success of child welfare in this country.
Welfare [ Wel"fare, n.] Definition: Well-doing or well-being in any respect; the enjoyment of health and the common blessings of life; exemption from any evil or calamity; prosperity; happiness.
I'll bet these kids might come up with a different meaning. I worked with one such kiddo as he told his adoptive parents goodbye for the last time because they decided they didn't want him anymore. He was 12, and he'd been with them since he was 2. I still cringe thinking about the weeks that followed. So many mornings were spent holding this screaming/hitting/angry kid tightly to you until he just disintegrated into this weeping child who, all of the sudden, was the one holding on. "Who's gonna want me now?"
Folks are so afraid to take these kids in for fear of the risks. And there are risks. These are not bad kids. And they don't all come from bad families. They ARE however badly broken. That brokenness shows itself in a whole multitude of ways. But I sure hope someone educates people on the same type of risks and truama's the Hatian kids endure- otherwise my fear is that they will simply be added to that website above at some point. Ironically, one of the biggest mistakes I see is that people think they can just "love them enough". Which, in a sense, is true- but not in the way we usually think. Then when these kids can't or don't respond the way we think they should (after, of course, we've loved them enough), we're ready to give them back. We don't realize that it's the child who gets to decide what is "enough". Enough to trust. Enough to love back. Enough to let their guard down.
And here's the clincher- the thing that truly breaks my heart: if I have this reaction to watching the available families on the news, what in the world must these kids be feeling?
I'm not pointing fingers, I know there are no good answers- but my prayer is that somehow, despite all of the evidence to the contrary, our Lord works his miracles and shows these children their true worth in His eyes so that they can reciprocate on His love and find an everlasting home far greater than anything they will ever know on this earth.
Monday, January 18, 2010
New "Do"
I finally got around to my bi-annual hair cut. See, I'm not really one of those girl's who gets a cute cut and then goes in every 6-weeks to keep it maintained. I go in, get a cute cut, and immediately let it grow back out (which, for me, happens REALLY fast!) Once I get back the point where I find myself wearing pony tails more often then not (about every 7 or 8 months)- I go back in for another cut. Usually- I let the stylist pick what she thinks would be a good look. Ironically- every stylist for the past 8 years has had the same general opinion of what that might be. This time- I decided to go different and get bangs. This is a BIG step for me. The last time I had bangs, I was 11. It was traumatic. I suppose this warrants the full story.
The year was 1990 and I went to Ball State to stay with my older sister Kathy for "Little Kin Weekend". Kathy and I were both excited... (for totally different reasons, I found out later!) The hit movie "Ghost" had just been released starring Demi Moore and Patrick Swayzee. Demi had a very short, but very "hip" boy cut. Kath was dying to try it- but couldn't muster up the courage to actually go through with it. And then (gasp!) "I have an idea!!!- why don't YOUget it done, Megan?!?! It would be SO cute and SO much fun to dotogether!!!" (and so on and so forth).
I was having NONE of it. I thought she'd finally given in after many failed manipulation tactics. "Well- just think about it while we run some errands." (Ok, so I should have known better- but I was 11!!) As it turns out,"some errands" happened to be showing me a spot on campus she once had been during thepast year, which was conveniently located just steps from the Salon. Kathy looks up, feigning a shocked "Oh,Look! Well-while-we're-here" expression.
"Let's just go in and talk to them, Meg. they can show you what it wouldlook like and if you don't like it- you totally don't have to do it. Wehave to go inside anyway to cancel the appointment- we can't just not show,these people depend on this." (One can easily deduce the insinuation here-what she really meant was- "what kind of person are you anyway?!?). She was quick to add "and you're NOT staying in the car- there isno way I'm leaving my little sister alone in a parking lot on a big collegecampus!"
Once inside- there's some greeting and chatting and then "just go talk to her Megan, please? You don't have to do anything you don't want to"(knowing full and well she'd effectively removed every defense from my grasp- and there was no way I was going to find the courage to actually speakup for myself to this (gulp!) stranger.) Needless to say- 30 minutes later Kathy left the salon with an 11-yr-old brother. It was NOT "hip". (I should mention, Kathy opted out of the Demi-Moore look after that.)
So here I am- 20 years later- with bangs for the first time since I was 11. I sort of felt like it makes me LOOK like I'm 11. But it's growing on me...
The year was 1990 and I went to Ball State to stay with my older sister Kathy for "Little Kin Weekend". Kathy and I were both excited... (for totally different reasons, I found out later!) The hit movie "Ghost" had just been released starring Demi Moore and Patrick Swayzee. Demi had a very short, but very "hip" boy cut. Kath was dying to try it- but couldn't muster up the courage to actually go through with it. And then (gasp!) "I have an idea!!!- why don't YOUget it done, Megan?!?! It would be SO cute and SO much fun to dotogether!!!" (and so on and so forth).
I was having NONE of it. I thought she'd finally given in after many failed manipulation tactics. "Well- just think about it while we run some errands." (Ok, so I should have known better- but I was 11!!) As it turns out,"some errands" happened to be showing me a spot on campus she once had been during thepast year, which was conveniently located just steps from the Salon. Kathy looks up, feigning a shocked "Oh,Look! Well-while-we're-here" expression.
"Let's just go in and talk to them, Meg. they can show you what it wouldlook like and if you don't like it- you totally don't have to do it. Wehave to go inside anyway to cancel the appointment- we can't just not show,these people depend on this." (One can easily deduce the insinuation here-what she really meant was- "what kind of person are you anyway?!?). She was quick to add "and you're NOT staying in the car- there isno way I'm leaving my little sister alone in a parking lot on a big collegecampus!"
Once inside- there's some greeting and chatting and then "just go talk to her Megan, please? You don't have to do anything you don't want to"(knowing full and well she'd effectively removed every defense from my grasp- and there was no way I was going to find the courage to actually speakup for myself to this (gulp!) stranger.) Needless to say- 30 minutes later Kathy left the salon with an 11-yr-old brother. It was NOT "hip". (I should mention, Kathy opted out of the Demi-Moore look after that.)
So here I am- 20 years later- with bangs for the first time since I was 11. I sort of felt like it makes me LOOK like I'm 11. But it's growing on me...
Saturday, January 16, 2010
K-O!
Once upon a time, back in college, I took a kick-boxing class because I thought it would be a fun way to earn an "easy A". That was before I met our instructor- Ms. Charlie. There was no way I could have predicted that that class would have kept me from graduating from college with honors. (Really? REALLY?!?!) I mean, really, who knew we would do squats for an entire hour?! I thought nothing could be worse.
This week, I was proven wrong again. Turns out, the only thing worse than doing squats for an entire hour- is doing squats for an entire hour on your heels while your trainer puts his fingers under your toes with a firm warning not to step on them. I wonder where the line is between determination and sadism.
This week, I was proven wrong again. Turns out, the only thing worse than doing squats for an entire hour- is doing squats for an entire hour on your heels while your trainer puts his fingers under your toes with a firm warning not to step on them. I wonder where the line is between determination and sadism.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Snow Day!
Life in the residential world can be sad. Sometimes it seems like it's all work and crowd-control and crisis-management. The kids are so angry- and with good reason- but, with that, they don't always get the chance to be kids. Today was the first big snowfall in Indy and my assessment was cancelled, leaving my day wide-open. So my assistant and I decided to grab the 11-yr-old's, several makeshift mittens, and have our own snow-day. Sometimes you just have to play...
The boys named him John Cena. :)
The boys named him John Cena. :)Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Noodle Knees
So, an update on my progress with the workout Nazi:
There is something seriously wrong with the man. Really. I finally came to this conclusion when I couldn't change out of my own gym clothes last night. On Monday night I fell UP the stairs. Yep. Fell right up 'em... in front of the whole gym. Because this fool made me take them 2 at a time …for 700 laps!!! Well, it FELT like 700. My legs thought so too- they just stood there and shook for like 10 minutes straight. At one point, I thought they were gonna walk right away from me and tell me I was on my own! Today I had to drive down to Pike County for work. Before I left, I ended up calling the rental car company to ask them to exchange my car for one with cruise control because I knew my calves were not gonna hold a gas peddle down for 6 hours!!
Ok- in all actuality- it’s pretty awesome. He’s very encouraging- even if he is certifiably crazy. My sessions are almost up though and they want an extended commitment beyond this point and I’m not sure I want to do that, given the state of the economy. I’m fairly certain we’re not getting our pay cuts back any time soon. On the other hand- my mortgage did just go down significantly and taxes are coming!! We’ll see. Either way- I’ll still have the gym membership and the computerized program. My "non-goal" will continue either way.
I’m taking tomorrow night off and meeting a good friend for dinner. Although- it will have to be something other than our usual Mexican digs. Kujo might start foaming at the mouth if I gorge on chips and cheese right now.
There is something seriously wrong with the man. Really. I finally came to this conclusion when I couldn't change out of my own gym clothes last night. On Monday night I fell UP the stairs. Yep. Fell right up 'em... in front of the whole gym. Because this fool made me take them 2 at a time …for 700 laps!!! Well, it FELT like 700. My legs thought so too- they just stood there and shook for like 10 minutes straight. At one point, I thought they were gonna walk right away from me and tell me I was on my own! Today I had to drive down to Pike County for work. Before I left, I ended up calling the rental car company to ask them to exchange my car for one with cruise control because I knew my calves were not gonna hold a gas peddle down for 6 hours!!
Ok- in all actuality- it’s pretty awesome. He’s very encouraging- even if he is certifiably crazy. My sessions are almost up though and they want an extended commitment beyond this point and I’m not sure I want to do that, given the state of the economy. I’m fairly certain we’re not getting our pay cuts back any time soon. On the other hand- my mortgage did just go down significantly and taxes are coming!! We’ll see. Either way- I’ll still have the gym membership and the computerized program. My "non-goal" will continue either way.
I’m taking tomorrow night off and meeting a good friend for dinner. Although- it will have to be something other than our usual Mexican digs. Kujo might start foaming at the mouth if I gorge on chips and cheese right now.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Ode to 2009
-Got a new puppy
-My family grieved the loss of my Uncle Tom
-Quit Smoking
-Both dogs had surgery
-Got a promotion & pay raise
-State screwed up its budget
-Got a pay cut and mandatory time off
-Took a trip to St. Augustine Florida with my friends Sally and Amanda
-Took two trips to Chicago to see Rhi & Co.
-Took a trip to Michigan for a solitary week at my cousins lake cottage
-Had an amazing weekend at the Kokomo Awakening #8, where I served as a table leader and speaker (and my awesome sister was lay director!)
-My old Life Group merged with my new Life Group and met an awesome group of new gal pals!!
-Had great times serving God and neighbors with my Church and Small Group
-Susan came back from Taiwan with her Mom for a visit
-Gave the house a make-over
-Built my dark room!!!
-Rhiannon and Bryan gave birth to their first son- Andrew James
-and I became a Godmother
-16 other friends and co-workers also had babies
-Alex started her Sr. Year (AND turned 18!!! …sigh)
-Hosted a party for Ali after she won V.P. of National Honor Society!
-Stepped back into the world of photo shoots and took two sets Sr. Pictures
-Was invited to the Colts/Lions Game by Mel: Club seats, 45-yd-line, row 23!! Whoot!
-Had our annual Ungerer/Fehn/Jessup Talent Show (Miss Alex Won)
-The loss of several public figures including: Patrick Swayzee, Billy Mays, Farrah Facet, Michael Jackson, Brittany Murphy, Ed McMahon, Ted Kennedy and George Michael
-First Female Latino Supreme Court Judge/First African American President took Office
-Swine Flu took over the country- but turned out to be no more serious than the actual flu
-Cap’n Sully saved the day when he landed a mayday plane in the Hudson River
-Michael Vic returned to the NFL after being imprisoned for dog fighting
-Obama won a nobel prize. We don’t really know why
-My family grieved the loss of my Uncle Tom
-Quit Smoking
-Both dogs had surgery
-Got a promotion & pay raise
-State screwed up its budget
-Got a pay cut and mandatory time off
-Took a trip to St. Augustine Florida with my friends Sally and Amanda
-Took two trips to Chicago to see Rhi & Co.
-Took a trip to Michigan for a solitary week at my cousins lake cottage
-Had an amazing weekend at the Kokomo Awakening #8, where I served as a table leader and speaker (and my awesome sister was lay director!)
-My old Life Group merged with my new Life Group and met an awesome group of new gal pals!!
-Had great times serving God and neighbors with my Church and Small Group
-Susan came back from Taiwan with her Mom for a visit
-Gave the house a make-over
-Built my dark room!!!
-Rhiannon and Bryan gave birth to their first son- Andrew James
-and I became a Godmother
-16 other friends and co-workers also had babies
-Alex started her Sr. Year (AND turned 18!!! …sigh)
-Hosted a party for Ali after she won V.P. of National Honor Society!
-Stepped back into the world of photo shoots and took two sets Sr. Pictures
-Was invited to the Colts/Lions Game by Mel: Club seats, 45-yd-line, row 23!! Whoot!
-Had our annual Ungerer/Fehn/Jessup Talent Show (Miss Alex Won)
-The loss of several public figures including: Patrick Swayzee, Billy Mays, Farrah Facet, Michael Jackson, Brittany Murphy, Ed McMahon, Ted Kennedy and George Michael
-First Female Latino Supreme Court Judge/First African American President took Office
-Swine Flu took over the country- but turned out to be no more serious than the actual flu
-Cap’n Sully saved the day when he landed a mayday plane in the Hudson River
-Michael Vic returned to the NFL after being imprisoned for dog fighting
-Obama won a nobel prize. We don’t really know why
Saturday, January 2, 2010
And so it begins..
So what a way to begin the new year but by starting a blog?
I don't do resolutions, because I don't do commitments, because I don't want to fail (being the optimist that I am). But- if there were, perhaps, some general things that I'd put in a list of goals for 2010- it might be look a little like this: Making God's will my own. Spend more time in service to others. Get healthier. Do more socially. Take more pictures. Write more thank you letters and mail them with a stamp. Write more, period...
I did sign up at the gym. I meet my personal trainer for the first time later today. I think I'd rather put a pillow over my head and have someone sit on it. Wish me luck!!
I don't do resolutions, because I don't do commitments, because I don't want to fail (being the optimist that I am). But- if there were, perhaps, some general things that I'd put in a list of goals for 2010- it might be look a little like this: Making God's will my own. Spend more time in service to others. Get healthier. Do more socially. Take more pictures. Write more thank you letters and mail them with a stamp. Write more, period...
I did sign up at the gym. I meet my personal trainer for the first time later today. I think I'd rather put a pillow over my head and have someone sit on it. Wish me luck!!
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